Thought I’d take a stab at the popular online trend of composing/posting two-sentence horror stories. Here’s a trio of pieces for the New Year:

My New Year’s resolution is to wash my hands of sinners. Having their blood under my fingernails all the time just isn’t good hygiene.

Dwight considered himself a perfectly functional alcoholic. He never once failed to show up in the afternoon to drive the school bus.

I watched my expression growing more vexed in the mirrored backdrop as my drink request repeatedly went unheard by the bartender. After the fifth attempt, though, a Bloody Mary promptly appeared in front of me.